All I Ever Wanted

was to be skinny. I never have been. It's not so much to want, really. Control. I've never had that either. I've spent my whole life wanting those things, wanting, trying even, but never achieving. Never winning. Always a failure. 


I'm tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I'm tired of being fat. There's nothing left to do but try harder, to finally reach my dream. To step on the scale, and see the numbers I've only fantasized about. Then, perhaps, I will know love. Then, perhaps, I will know what it is to be happy.